Success, Rewritten

Musings on paths that don’t lead straight to the top.

We have too narrow a definition of the word success.

How often have you been at a dinner party, on a phone call with a family member, or talking to a business colleague and heard “they have a very successful career?” Probably a lot, right?

I bet you a Substack heart that “successful career” looks a certain way in those conversations. The person in question is a doctor or a lawyer or has a stable corporate leadership role somewhere. Rarely does anyone want to tell me about successful career beekeepers or successful artists in residence.

I’ve been thinking about this a lot lately as I’ve started thinking about where I’ll be as I end this first year of working outside of the standard corporate grind. While I’ve never been the biggest fan of corporate annual reviews, I do acknowledge that there’s something smart about assessment and that I should probably give myself one.

That’s left me pondering as we slide into Q4. Am I successful? Is this experiment in living differently going to be green lit for 2026?

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A few days ago Dolly Parton’s 9 to 5 came on to the radio as I was driving to the grocery store. I immediately started singing off key at the top of my lungs as one should do when such a catchy bop makes an appearance.

But as I sang, I started digesting the actual words of the song. Go google them - you’ll be as struck as me.

Ouch.

9 to 5 was released in 1980 as the theme song to the movie of the same name and has served for decades as an anthem for working women. It lends us the words for a myriad of angers and frustrations from sexism in the workplace, to the ways in which so much of corporate life feels like a shell game, to the brutal truth that we give so much to something that does nothing but take from us.

It also holds up a version of the world that operates under a cultural norm that is deeply ingrained in us. It is the norm that success has to look like a specific and narrow thing. A grey, buttoned up definition for a working life.

We struggle to envision a story for ourselves that doesn’t include the logical ladder climb from entry level to c-suite.

The problem with this is that, increasingly, those logical climbs are both unrealistic and unsatisfying. The world of work is changing faster than we can wrap our heads around. And our willingness to think outside the past when we think about the definition of success is growing, too.

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So if I were giving myself a performance review this year?

I’d say: shows creativity, demonstrates resilience, needs improvement in not freaking out, exceeds expectations in redefining success.

This is probably an excessively long winded way of telling you I’ve decided that, yes, I am finding success this year.

It hasn’t been a promotion. It hasn’t been a new job at a shiny company. It hasn’t been a pay raise (there’s a whole world of frustration driven posts about the cost of going out on your own that I’ll spare you).

2025 has been hard so far. I’ve doubted myself. I’ve fallen into the trap of believing that I’m only made for a corporate life. I’ve doom applied to jobs that make absolutely no sense.

But 2025 has been beautiful, too. I’ve worked with coaching clients that are some of the coolest people I’ve met. I’ve picked up contract gigs that have been for programs and projects that I truly believe in. I’ve reveled in the gift of using my creative skills again.

Most importantly, though, I’ve finally, finally, finally, let go of the standard form definition of the word success.

My career story isn’t a straight ladder. I don’t need to be a successful corporate prototype. I don’t need to hope the “boss man” will see my worth.

My story will turn to look more like one of those gorgeous spiral labyrinths. Perhaps a circuitous route, but one that leads to a central point and back out again. I like to think my central point is my set of core values, always guiding me along and not at all built on the back of some sort of corporate jargon style vision statement.

My success can be whatever I decide is successful. And that’s pretty incredible to believe to be true.

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I’ll leave you with this: I have two daughters. I love asking them at the start of every school year what they dream of doing when they are older. Their answers have varied over the years, but a common theme is that they don’t say things like “I dream of being a successful L7 IC focused on stakeholder management.” They want to be zookeepers and authors. They want to study the wonders of stars and the magic of oceans.

Kids simply don’t think about success the way we do as adults.

While adults have a million confines that keep us from being as blue sky as kids when they dream, nothing is preventing us from holding on to a definition of success that keeps a little bit of this magic.

So I may not be a successful bee keeper (yet), but I’m reveling in the truth that I can be so much more than I’ve ever defined myself as before.

As we start the process of winding down this year, we’ll be casting visions and thinking about hopes for the next before we know it. I invite you to take this guidance into account, too.

​​Maybe it’s time to stop chasing the title, and start honoring yourself.

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Hi, I’m Ashley. I write Beyond the Break. This is a space for honest storytelling, identity-in-motion, and the messy middle of personal and professional growth. Through storytelling and reflection, I explore what it really means to build an intentional, sustainable, and meaningful relationship with work and life.

I’d love to hear from you. Drop a comment or send me a message. Let’s connect.